Hey Mom- It’s triple digit weather in Fresno and I have no central air. If you were alive, I probably would have stayed at your place this weekend. I would have earned brownie points, driving you to breakfast at Jeb’s, maybe taking you antique shopping in Hanford. I would have helped you look for… Continue reading Arroyo Grande
Dear Mama White, You’ve been gone a little over three months now. Everyone told me things would get easier. Maybe that is something that will come later on. For now, it feels as though every day gets harder still. I remain so, so, so tired. Relief has yet to show up in any capacity at all. I am physically… Continue reading Motherless Days
Mom passed away on February 7th. Everyone has been listing her time of death as 4:08pm but it was actually closer to 4:12 pm. I don’t know why I need to clarify that, but those last four minutes mattered. We were there. I was holding her hand. I still remember the wet faces of my… Continue reading epilogue
Mom has been in a semi-comatose state ever since Wednesday evening. She’s at home, in bed, (mostly) peacefully resting. Mostly unconscious and unresponsive. Dying, in other words. It’s something we all knew was coming. Especially during this last month, when her decline suddenly surged from a slow and steady deterioration to noticeable changes with every visit. The last… Continue reading Waiting To Die.
Moving someone with brain cancer requires packing most things at the last possible minute so the Cancer Patient doesn’t get too disorientated. No matter how long you try to delay the packing, be aware that the Brain Cancer Patient will begin looking for their belongings immediately once they’ve been boxed up, no matter how many times they… Continue reading Notes on Moving Someone with Brain Cancer (for the second time in three months)
Mom wakes me up at 4:30 AM. She wants to take her pills in order to “get back on schedule”. I tell her that if she waits until 7:00 am, she will actually be back on schedule. If she takes them at 4:30 AM, she will have to continue waking up at 4:30 AM… Continue reading Two Stories
It’s been two years since I got the call from my cousin, frantically urging me to get down to the hospital immediately. It’s a strange call to get. Out of the blue, on a Saturday morning. When your only other concern is finishing up the American Express reconciliation for work. When you haven’t spoken to the parent in… Continue reading Anniversaries