Hey Mom- It’s triple digit weather in Fresno and I have no central air. If you were alive, I probably would have stayed at your place this weekend. I would have earned brownie points, driving you to breakfast at Jeb’s, maybe taking you antique shopping in Hanford. I would have helped you look for… Continue reading Arroyo Grande
Dear Mama White, You’ve been gone a little over three months now. Everyone told me things would get easier. Maybe that is something that will come later on. For now, it feels as though every day gets harder still. I remain so, so, so tired. Relief has yet to show up in any capacity at all. I am physically… Continue reading Motherless Days
We’re a little over a month out from mom’s death. I had planned on writing something on the exact anniversary of her passing- March 7th- but I was too bogged down in sadness to squeeze any blood (words) from that turnip (my brain). In fact, lately a lot of my planning has not worked out… Continue reading The World Spins Madly On
Mom passed away on February 7th. Everyone has been listing her time of death as 4:08pm but it was actually closer to 4:12 pm. I don’t know why I need to clarify that, but those last four minutes mattered. We were there. I was holding her hand. I still remember the wet faces of my… Continue reading epilogue
Mom has been in a semi-comatose state ever since Wednesday evening. She’s at home, in bed, (mostly) peacefully resting. Mostly unconscious and unresponsive. Dying, in other words. It’s something we all knew was coming. Especially during this last month, when her decline suddenly surged from a slow and steady deterioration to noticeable changes with every visit. The last… Continue reading Waiting To Die.
“These sheets will never get washed,” I think to myself as I yank the patterned cotton layers from my mattress and toss them in the darkest corner of my closet. I doubt I’ll ever move forward with trading in the imprints of your scent and skin and smiling face for the clean cover up of detergent-… Continue reading Sheets